Anymore

January 8, 2010

I waited
I set my alarm to five am
To say goodbye
Every Wednesday
discovering the deep blue
The sky had to offer

I’m not that girl anymore
Crying on the stairs
Asking why

Skip five years
And thousands of miles
And I’m still okay

New town, new faces,
different air
broken promises
I waited in long lines
Would never expect
What I was signing my name to


Vulnerability
and crushed hearts
unbelief
at it’s utmost
and silence

So this is what is means to live in a broken world

time stretched so thin

Consistency
never stays consistent for too long
or you’d get bored and settle
You wouldn’t
learn how to let go
and get a hold of something
outside your reach
You wouldn’t look outside
that’s what you did
and I remember his words today,
“don’t worry,
things will only get better for you as you
move along”
I believe that


Flashback five years
I’m not that girl
anymore
who needs to be told that
she’s beautiful
I didn’t know
But now I know what beauty is


I’m not that girl anymore
Who needs a hand to hold
To walk across every broken bridge
Because when I
Wanted that

You burnt my bridges
And told me to walk on
You told me to reminisces
And then to never look back

I’ve learned to jump over the splintered pieces

To test before I stand
And even then,
Never for too long

And thus far I’ve learned
Goodbyes don’t get any easier
They just come more frequent

so don’t hold on to anything like
it’s yours

I’m not the girl
Who is afraid of what the future has to hold

Anymore