Pendulum

The pendulum swings to the left
To the right
And for a moment in time
It strikes

The perfect balance
In center
Reveling Equilibrium

A moment in cycle
Steady symmetry

It’s you
It’s me
Gravity determinded
What others only see

For
Seconds
Of time
Displacement fought
Masked in every direction
See through their reflections

Yet pivot’s restored
The force
Our gravity
The Glory and trifle
A weight of love

Swung on a string
Back and forth
Back and forth
Back
And
Forth

Will we learn?

Shorten the string
Heighten the weight
Of passion
I’m so tired of
Suspension

Let friction bring
Back to center
I long for rest
In position

10.27.11

Never the Same

When you have spent time in the presence of God, there should be a different demeanor about you.

So different that when you let people into the depths of who you are, they are changed.

The Holy Spirit is in the business of changing.

Be confident enough in God to walk out what he has ordained for you and only you.

Be secure enough to let people into the depths of who you are.

When we are more and more like Jesus, people should not walk away the same after meeting us,
yet not in any way because of US, yet the BRIGHT LIGHT, the sparkle and display of God's
glory that even Moses had to cover his face when speaking with others.

May we spend so much time in the presence of our Father that we glimmer and shine.
Those who look to Him are radiant. Psalm 34:5

May God's glory be so heavy on us that it inspires others to seek God more deeply,
(the presence of God inspires)
to repent,
to ask harder questions,
to desire and seek after the joy and peace that He has offered to us.

May we always point to our Savior.

And may we be such bold light insomuch that we evade the darkness.

Bixby Canyon Bridge

I descended a dusty gravel ridge
Beneath the Bixby Canyon Bridge
Until I eventually arrived
At the place where your soul had died

Barefoot in the shallow creek
I grab some stones from underneath
And waited for you to speak to me

In the silence it became so very clear
That you had long ago disappeared
And I cursed myself for being surprised
That this didn't play like it did in my mind

All the way from San Francisco
As I chased the end of your rope
'Cause I've still got miles to go

And I want to know my fate
If I keep up this way
And it's hard to want to stay
Awake

When everyone you meet
They all seem to be asleep
And you wonder if you're missing your dream
You can't see your dream
You can't see your dream
You just can't see your dream

A dream

And then it started getting dark
And I trudged back to where the car was parked
No closer to any kind of truth
As I must assume was the case with you

_DCFC


This song is art.

My Wish for You

I tell all my guy friends:

Find a girl who is beautiful not only on the outside, but more importantly on the inside. Find a girl who is deep. Find a girl who has taken time to develop who she is. Find a girl who has an understanding of how big God is.



Find a girl who will offer to get up and get you a glass of water while you stay, or turn off the lights (but don't let her, or go with her).

Find a girl who will love you in every dimension of life.



& The only way you will get a girl like that is, if you are all these things to her.

This kind of girl realizes who she is. She won't let herself be easily snatched.

When you find her, cherish her, hang on to her, make her yours,

because she is rare.

Free Spirit?

"It refers to a human being who feels unconstrained by convention; rather, the spirit of liberty is paramount to that person."

"Free spirits are inclined to explore life and taste new experiences that hold true to the deepest parts of themselves vs. being influenced by what the masses around them are doing. They are often people who think freely and have the courage to hear their own voice and follow their own integrity."


Funny how other people see things in you before you realize it yourself.


Here's to rediscovering.

To Love;

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

- C.S. Lewis

You Are a Tourist

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And define your destination
There's so many different places to call home
Because when you find yourself the villain in the story you have written
It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemptions
Would you agree?
If so please show me

This fire grows higher
When there's a burning in your heart

_Chris Walla, DCFC

The Heart

"Life is a journey of the heart that requires the mind—not the other way around. The church sometimes gets this backward and makes knowing the right things the center of life. It's not;
the heart is the center of life. Desire is always where the action is.
The key is to bring the TRUTH into our hearts to guard and guide our desire."

_Eldredge, The Journey of Desire



I was reminded and amazed when I reread what God says in Ezekiel 36:

25"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols.
26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;
I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
28 Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God..."

God is giving them a new heart and moving them
to follow his decrees by
a softened heart AND implanted truth. WOW.




God is seeking worshipers who worship in spirit and in truth.

"The informed mind through the revealed Word of God and the Spirit's presence in our lives
inflames the heart,
and the heart creates the energy for the growing mind."

_Matt Chandler, Gospel Centered Worship, Village Identity Part 4
(current favorite sermon)

God is seeking worshipers with informed minds and inflamed hearts.




What is your heart set on? Your mind may be set on doing God's will but your heart may be desiring and longing for completely different things. I was convicted of this recently.


The heart is kind of a big deal. It truly guides ones life more than one realizes.
For example, one can believe that jealousy is wrong intellectually and tell oneself not to be jealous, but the moment ones coworker is granted a promotion, which leads?--ones mind (that believes jealousy is wrong and tells itself not to be jealous) or ones heart?

Your heart for sure. All things harbored in the heart are revealed .

It is a man's heart that reflects the man, not his mind.




Have the right thing in your mind intellectually,
and in your heart affectionately. _Chambers


Let us
"Love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind." _Matthew 22:37

There Will Come a Time

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

Mumford & Sons, After the Storm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3RP1VbUaaA

Only Hope

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

_Mandy Moore, Only Hope

Rest

An short article that I recently wrote on "rest"

There has been a lot of talk about “rest” lately. We can all testify that we do not get enough of it. Life has a way of getting overwhelmingly busy. Rest does not come easy as it did when we were kids. “I’ll get rest when this project is completed.” “I’ll get rest when this midterm is over.” “I’ll get rest when my kids grow up and move out of the house!” We think this way more often than not, but when we look in God’s Word, we see that rest is not an option. Rest is commanded and even celebrated. The topic of rest brings us back to Genesis 1 of when God created the world.

Two things stand out to me as I read the creation account. First, the bible accounts that after God created each and every creation (light, land, sea, trees, etc), he would stop and see that it was good. “God saw that it was good” (Genesis 1). The bible specifically records God’s contemplation and meditation. It specifically records what he is taking in and dwelling upon—His own goodness.

The second thing that stands out to me as I read the creation account is that God ceased from creating on the seventh day and rested from all his accomplished work. “Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done” (Genesis 2:3). The first Sabbath was established. God actually created and intentionally honored a day of celebrated rest. So how was God resting? Was God tired?

When we hear the English verb “rest,” most of us immediately think of being tired or needing to recuperate drained energy, but the Hebrew translated “rest” in Genesis 2:2 of God resting from creating the world did not carry that idea. The definition given for the Hebrew word translated “rest” (shābat or shābath) in Genesis 2:2 is to “cease, desist.” God did not get tired, nor did He need a day to convalesce or build up His strength. He simply stopped creating the Universe.

When we look around our church and community, if we are honest, we sometimes think that people who are “busier” for God love God more. We tend to think that the person who is doing more must be pleasing God more. You know, it’s that man or woman who is always at church serving, volunteering and giving back, that man who is always going downtown and volunteering at the homeless shelter, the woman who is constantly opening up her home to needful strangers in hospitality. It’s THAT man who walks door to door to evangelize 7 days a week for 8 hours…for pete’s sake, he definitely loves Jesus the most!

While all these things are biblical and good in themselves, God strikes a balance. “Doing more” is not always pleasing to God. We see this principle in Luke 10: 38-42 as Mary sits at the feet of Jesus while Martha is distracted, stressed and busy with work and preparations needing to be made. Martha definitely thought Jesus would scold Mary for not helping her with the things needing to be done. Jesus responds differently than she expects.

Nowhere in the bible does God command us to live a life strained, burdened, restless, over-worked, sleepless...etc. Ministry may call us to be restless or tired for a season, but an essential lifestyle of restlessness is not pleasing to God AND is not biblical. In contrast, God commands us to rest. “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work…” (Exodus 20:8-10). We are no longer under the law, but God was establishing a principle here.

It is when we take the time to rest, and rest in the Lord, that our hearts are set again on Christ. It is when we take the time to cease from our doing that we are able to remind ourselves of who we are doing for and why we are doing. Isn’t it Christ himself? Yes. Isn’t it ironic that busyness, even busyness for God’s kingdom can cause us to forget God? In the busyness of our lives, we forget that one of God’s Ten Commandments was to rest.

May we follow God’s example as recorded in the creation account and see his goodness in all things. May we reflect on God’s creation all around us—family, friends, jobs, blessings, the air, the trees, the warm weather, life itself and stop to say, “Wow God, this is good! You are good!” May we take time to sit at the feet of Jesus in moments of cessation and follow God in example and commandment as we “bless and make holy” days of repose.

Fear?

"The great lives are lived in the places we most fear. If we fear being rejected, the great story has us standing at the door with flowers in our hands, if we fear losing love, the great stories have us letting that person go rather than clinging to them. If we fear taking a chance on a dream, the great stories have us quitting our jobs."

-Donald Miller


Agreed.

"Salvation is easy because it cost God so much, but the manifestation of it in my life is difficult. God saves a man and endues him with the Holy Spirit, and then says in effect - 'Now work it out, be loyal to Me, whilst the nature of things round about you would make you disloyal.' 'I have called you friends.'"

--Oswald Chambers

Anymore

January 8, 2010

I waited
I set my alarm to five am
To say goodbye
Every Wednesday
discovering the deep blue
The sky had to offer

I’m not that girl anymore
Crying on the stairs
Asking why

Skip five years
And thousands of miles
And I’m still okay

New town, new faces,
different air
broken promises
I waited in long lines
Would never expect
What I was signing my name to


Vulnerability
and crushed hearts
unbelief
at it’s utmost
and silence

So this is what is means to live in a broken world

time stretched so thin

Consistency
never stays consistent for too long
or you’d get bored and settle
You wouldn’t
learn how to let go
and get a hold of something
outside your reach
You wouldn’t look outside
that’s what you did
and I remember his words today,
“don’t worry,
things will only get better for you as you
move along”
I believe that


Flashback five years
I’m not that girl
anymore
who needs to be told that
she’s beautiful
I didn’t know
But now I know what beauty is


I’m not that girl anymore
Who needs a hand to hold
To walk across every broken bridge
Because when I
Wanted that

You burnt my bridges
And told me to walk on
You told me to reminisces
And then to never look back

I’ve learned to jump over the splintered pieces

To test before I stand
And even then,
Never for too long

And thus far I’ve learned
Goodbyes don’t get any easier
They just come more frequent

so don’t hold on to anything like
it’s yours

I’m not the girl
Who is afraid of what the future has to hold

Anymore

Back Here Again

God's led me through valleys in the last 6 months. I've come face to face with the desires of my heart, the idols of my heart and soul. To say that my faith has been tested is a big understatement. I have much more to say about all this, but for now I'm looking back at my old writings. I'm reflecting on what the Spirit has taught me and what he's teaching me again. I'm asking myself how do I walk in these truths and not just look away...


June 6, 2009
We’re so apt to think that sorrow and pain are not of God. We run, medicate, ignore and avoid the deep obscured things hurting us on the inside. The message at the Village really spoke to me yesterday. I finally understood the last part of John where Jesus tells Peter,
“I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “follow me!” John 21:18-19

Surrendering to God may mean that it feels like crucifixion as he leads us down paths and sacrifices we rather not walk or give. How vividly I remember the examples of Brother Randle and Ms. Joyce. I remember the last day we had in the Philippines together as we took communion as a group. If there is anything I will walk away from this trip possessing, it is a spiritual awareness of what it means to be humble. It was lived out before me for 21 days by Miss Joyce and Brother Randle. When I heard them talk about their daughter Hannah, I mused and my heart broke.

His words were, “the night before, I was praying and God told me to lay Hannah on the altar. The next day, She died.” (In a tragic car accident the day before her wedding)
The average person would question, would cry out in rage against God, “How could you do this to me?!” “What a selfish God.” But her life rooted and established a church in the Philippines that otherwise would have not existed. Her life, her death, saved souls. Her testimony and the faith of her parents continues to bear kingdom and seeds.

And I had a sense of peace that only comes through the Spirit. Its’ all about Jesus. It’s all about his kingdom. And if the little that I ‘have,’ that he gave me to begin with—if my suffering can produce an abundant of souls saved until God, then so be it? (is it even worthy, how can my suffering be worthy of kingdom cause?) Blessed am I. May His will be done and not mine. In the great span of things, it was never about me, about what I could gather and heap under a roof for my own. Hold everything with a loose grip, he’s told me.
While the flesh, the very real hurting, mournful side of us suffers and hurts, our Spirit somehow gives us peace—as we lay down our lives, all possessions, all positions without regard, without having to be twisted of or wrung loose. This is the beautiful picture, the beauty of surrender.

If my pain and confusion
Can somehow show the world the peace that
Passes all understanding
Let it be done

If a death can bring many the light of life, of glory,
Then I count it worthy to follow directly in my Savior’s
Own footsteps
Sacrifice, death
And certain resurrection

Confessions of Augustine

What are you, then, my God--what, but the Lord God?
For who is Lord but the Lord? Or who is God save our God?
Most high, most excellent, most powerful, most almighty, most merciful, and most just;
most hidden, yet most present; most beautiful, and most strong; stable, yet mysterious; unchangeable, yet changing all things; never new, never old;
making all things new and bringing age upon the proud, though they know it not;
ever working, yet ever at rest; still gathering, yet lacking nothing; sustaining,
filling and protecting; creating, nourishing, and maturing; seeking, yet possessing all things. You love without passion; you are jealous without anxiety; you repent, yet have no sorrow;
you are angry, yet serene; change your ways, yet your plans are unchanged; recover what you find, having never lost it; never in need, yet rejoicing in gain;
never covetous, yet requiring interest.
You receive over and above, that you may owe--yet who has anything that is not yours?
You pay debts, owing nothing; remit debts, losing nothing.
And what have I now said, my God, my life, my holy joy--what is this I have said?
Or what do any say when they speak of you?
Yet woe to those who keep silence,since those who say most are as dumb!

_Augustine

Reinvent

12/10

Uncharted