It feels so good to journal again. Journaling > blogging by far. I don't even have the chance to blog that much anymore...ha. Now that school is over, I can dive into design and writing again. I'm super excited. I got a new journal today because I realize that I forget so many of the things God whispers to me...jogging, driving, working, observing...literally all day. It's like non-stop wisdom :] (trust me, my mind is always thinking!) I just need to write it down again, like I used to.I have looked back upon my life and the things I've written down even as a very very young girl, have helped me immensely grow as a person. Wisdom is transcendent like that. ;) The trick is remembering what you've walked through and learned! So I write not only to remember, but I write to dwell and soak in. Hopefully, this will be the journey to doing all of that again. Cheers to learning & holding on to. Cheers to remembering and intention.

Satisfy me not with the lesser of You Find me no solace in shadows of the true No ordinary measure of extraordinary means The depth, the length, and breadth of You and nothing in between. Etch these words upon my heart knowing all the while No ordinary roadblocks plague extraordinary miles Your power as my portion, Your glory as my fare Take me to extremities, but meet me fully there. _Beth Moore

Snapshots

"I love using my tiny digital camera. But the larger and more com- plex a subject, the more nearly impossible it is to represent it well and completely. No single photograph can show someone how magnificent the Grand Canyon is. It’s true that my shortcomings as a photographer do nothing to change the majesty of that natural wonder. Still, some snapshots do give a better idea than others of the grandeur. I want to take that clearer kind of picture of the Grand Canyon. And that’s the kind of image of Jesus I want our marriage to portray." -Noel Piper

On Holiness

I'm beginning to realize that God has always had this standard of holiness that he has instructed and given to His people.

I'm beginning to realize that one has to FIGHT for one's holiness, to be sober minded, to know where one stands, to know what the Word of God says, and to not step even one step beside it.

I want to be that woman, unblemished, surrendered wholly to the will and pleasure of my Father in heaven.

I'm beginning to pray that I will see myself as I actually am, and not elevated or blind to my own weaknesses. Not seeing myself only in glowing terms, ignoring my negative qualities. I see people who capitalize upon their strengths and somehow they think that it balances out their weaknesses or cancels them out, and so they stay "stained" in those areas of their lives. They let the light of their strengths blind them to the darkness of their own weaknesses.

I have, in the past, seen myself in glowing terms, unintentionally, so with this realization of self-deception, I've been pressing in more, seeking and ask harder, deeper questions. I need to strive to be whole, complete, mature, not lacking anything. So I keep asking God, show me more blind-spots…Am I too idealistic? Am I only seeking the non-reality? Am I not content? Am I holy? Am I am loving others only because I want them to love/like me? Do I want to be holy? Am I selfish in ways I cannot see? The things I have begun to discern in others, I have been asking in myself.

Being holy does not mean being ridiculously weird, unapproachable, uninformed or unaware of the culture you live in. It simply is having a standard and knowing and living with that standard before yourself. It means making God's standard--your standard. It means believing and trusting in, and therefore living within, the guidelines God has set.

Therefore, it means boundaries, it means saying no. It means grasping for the things above. It means staying __UN-calloused__ by the depravity of what is around you.

The beauty of it too, and the way Jesus walked, is that he was able to walk in holiness no matter where he went, in any situation he encountered. He was able to be aware the people, the current culture. He knew how to talk to sinners, a broken woman at the well, the teachers of the law, etc. Holiness, if you note, did not mean pushing his beliefs or himself on others either. He wasn't trying to fit in an evangelistic word in every conversation he had. Holiness was his BEING. He didn't try to stick out, and yet he did, because he was holy, biblical-holy, standard holy, set apart for his Father's will-focused, like a man on a mission. He didn't need to affirm his uniqueness by wearing, "I am Jesus Christ" T-shirts. He lived differently AMONGEST all of them, and they asked, they probed, they saw…..And they WANTED.

Anytime you are truly living for the will of your father, you are automatically different. You are automatically rare. Don't strive to be different. Just be.

Also, if you stand for something long enough, people are just gonna stop asking you to go to the bars with them if ya know what i mean. Instead, you'll be the person they call when they go through a crisis. Hello, light.

Holiness does not = a method, either. Holiness does not equate to methodology. I see so many Christian subcultures preaching/placing their all on one method to going about something. They say it is the holy way, the God way, the way Jesus would have you do whatever it is in your life, but that simply is not true. Classic example: "OUR church is biblical" (Translation: YOURS is not) (Translation 2: we trump you). I'm not sure when we began to preach this one size fits all method, because if you look throughout history/culture....methods have changed immensely and they change ALL the time. The methods some Americans place the weight their life upon (method-idolatry) would not work in Africa, or perhaps even in the slums 20 miles away from them. The biblical principles and holiness the bible teaches is transcendent through history, time and place. A method may be one good way, but it isn't THE way or the ONLY way.

With Christ there is Holiness and Freedom all at the same time, now that is the mystery and beauty. As long as you stay biblically sound, you have the freedom to approach any situation/career/relationship/problem/goal/aspiration...AND get this: ministry--the way you feel is best/God calling you, being mindful of your brothers and sisters and the ones you are serving as well (which goes back to being biblical). Now that is diversity and unity holding hands...(a God-trend all around if you ask me), more mystery and beauty.