1/14/10

I’m the kind of girl who would write her name all over it, match the colors to the ones I like, start drawing a curving line without knowing how many curves I will rashly make of it and where I would eventually end it. It’s more exciting and unpredictable that way, I think. And if it ends up being an ugly curve, I’m not the kind of girl who would throw it all away—I would only perfect it.


Then I would call it mine.


I am strangely dissatisfied when I cannot put roots into something.



There’s a different light to me right now (many have mentioned it).
Something of a more quiet somber,

but I am not worried, neither am I unhappy. I am content in a most different manner.
Yet with all that I am,
I am waiting on God.

I am waiting so much for him to tell me where to dig, where to invest, where to put my energies and passions toward. I am zealous.

I am bent on giving and creating. I am waiting for him to tell me where to give.
Where to create. Where to invent these visions.





Speak to me God.


It isn’t a dissatisfaction, but a longing.
It’s like I’m standing still and the world is spinning around me. I can’t hold on to anything or be in one place for too long because it’s all temporary. And in all the madness, in all the changeable sights and scenes, I’m just waiting to see something beyond physical sight. I am waiting to see this sparkle that will incite an explosion in my mind.

And I’m waiting to hear a voice that speaks quieter yet out-speaks the others.



I am anticipating a finish.




I’ve never been afraid to go after what I want.
The challenge is, God….what should I want?