I Don't Have a Plan

I have not had the chance to write much in here yet. I suppose I will have the opportunity to post something this week since I do have a significant amount of time off. I kind of want my first official post to be edited and thought-out, and not blurbs or rants. In the mean time I just want to write a bit about what's on my heart at the moment.

Ever since I left the Philippines, my heart has been even more tender. I was thinking today about how I have dreams and goals. My dreams and goals are not very defined, save that I know that I am to build a cafe. (When and where? I haven't gotten that nudge yet.) Besides that, my goals and dreams have to do with effecting people for God's kingdom. I can truly say that my goal and dream is to accomplish God's will. And I'm discovering more of what His will is for me is every day. I know it's bigger than I can imagine or plan.

"I don't have a plan...," I thought today. "But that's the beauty of my life, I think..., yeah."

I love the thought of my life being able to completely change in a year or so.

Before my trip overseas, I could never imagine myself in a different country for an extended period of time (giving a year or two or a life away to minister in a foreign country). Before my trip, I would never think or imagine myself really enjoying another country. I'm too "high maintenace" right? I mean there's heat, bugs, strange food, language barriers, inconvenience, obstacles left and right....and the list goes on. My best friend always made fun of the thought of me in another country...but surprisingly enough, a ton of my other friends somehow knew that if I was focused I could easily enjoy spending an extended amount of time ministering in another country. I surprised myself on this trip and God returned the surprise. Serving people and seeing Jesus come alive in people melts my own concerns away. There is a definite possibility in serving overseas long-term in my future, and I've been praying about it. I'm not bullet-proof, but I've always proved to be tougher than I give myself credit and/or tougher than I even think I am.
God, (and I speak of him), there's just something about waking up every day knowing you are where you're supposed to be and giving every hour and every minute of the day away serving people, telling people about Jesus, doing God's will, being his apparatus, being his hands and feet. Your heart, body, soul, mind, and Spirit just leap because they know they are doing what they are meant to do. There's just something about getting out of yourself. It's so much easier without all the distraction. Why we make rubbish and empty things distractions in America, I still don't know. And why it's so hard, I'm not sure.


So I don't have a plan mapped out for myself. While some may call that unwise, it isn't for me because I know I'm following God's will. I'm not walking around lacking luster and just living life. I love the thought that I could be in another country in a matter of months on the mission field. I love the thought that I could be interning in another state or country. I love the thought that God may have me stay where I am and excel in my retail job that is a stage and mission field in itself. It is a floor of influence (& I am truly loving it right now). I love the thought of my cafe hitting ground where the Lord will say, "here."
I love the thought of how God just miraculously provides for me semester after semester in more diverse ways than I can count on my fingers. I rejoice and He always asks me, "Why are you so surprised?"


I love the thought that God's got my map mapped out for me and I just have to ask for directions.